For Science!

As I mentioned in my last post, I am going to try some rather exotic chip flavors from England (sounds like an oxymoron, I know). Today's picks are "Builder's Breakfast," and "Onion Bhaji," chips. Now I don't know how many of you know this but the Frito-Lays Potato Chip company is known as Walkers Potato Chips by our cousins across the pond. Any how, let's just say the chip flavors are interesting to say the least. I hope you enjoy reading about my experience/pain as much as I did. So without further adieu let's get snacking!

So first up we have "Builder's Breakfast," I was immediately drawn to this flavor due to the smiley face breakfast picture on the front of the package. Here is how the flavor of the chips are described: " Combining the mouth-watering flavours (sic) of bacon, buttered toast, eggs and tomato sauce, there's mortar to Emma's crisps (that's what brits call chips) than meets the eye!" MMMM....sounds delicious huh? I guess a woman named Emma came up with the idea for this flavor of chips. Who knows? The fact that this woman is from a place called Belper (honestly I couldn't make up these town names if I tried) surely adds to the fact that these chips are going to blow my ass off. When I opened the bag I took a good whiff. These chips didn't smell like bacon, not even buttered toast. In fact they smelled more like ketchup and builder's sweat. So far I am beginning to think this was a bad idea. After trying a handful of chips I was surprised. Right off the bat you taste baked beans with hints of tomato sauce and a bit of smokiness. The initial taste was actually quite pleasant. I enjoyed this chip flavor, but then the after taste hit. To be honest, my breathe smelled and tasted like World War Three. The bacon and toast flavors pulled a submarine move and stuck to my tongue the way an oil slick sticks to an otter. I don't like to taste my food twice (most of the time), this aftertaste, in a word, was toxic. Enough said. Overall, I really don't know what a real "Builder's Breakfast" would taste like, but I'm pretty sure this is not it. Who ever subsists off of ketchup and baked beans, the two primary flavors of this chip, must look like Gollum from Lord of the Rings, and smell like a baby diaper filled with a diarrhea dump. If I had to rate this chip I would give it two spuds out of five, definitely not a keeper, or a good snack choice for that matter.

Next up on the list is the "Onion Bhaji" chips. A woman from Durham, England named Carole came up with this one. The flavor is described on the back of the package as follows: " Carole is confident that her mildly spicy, curry-house accompaniment can bhaji its way into the lead and tikka all of the nation's boxes!" Very descriptive, what exactly is "bhaji" to begin with, and curry isn't even a real spice, just a term invented by the british to describe any sort of Asian food that is spicy. So I am assuming I will get a taste of little India with these chips. As I opened the bag, I again took in the aroma of the chips. I smelled something like chicken broth and onion powder. This aroma is very similar to the Top Ramen spice, in fact it is exactly like Top Ramen spice. Expecting to taste Top Ramen in chip form I munched on a handful of "Onion Bhaji" flavored chips. To my surprise they were actually quite good. The onion flavors were there but they didn't over power the spiciness of the chip. I could taste the onion, some cumin, black pepper, and even some garlic. There was even a hint of citrus in the chips. I was pleasantly surprised, no Top Ramen here, just a Bollywood party in my mouth, and everyone is invited. Words really can't describe what my taste experience was like with "Onion Bhaji" chips, but if I had to distill my experience into video it would probably be something like this:



Needless to say, so far this is the best chip flavor. With no toxic aftertaste, just the right ratio of onion to spice, Walkers somehow managed to distill little India onto a chip, and I love it. I wouldn't go so far as to say Ghandi would be proud, but maybe Nehru would. The world will never know. But I give this flavor four spuds out of five.

Well that does it for the first segment of "For Science!" Who knows what tomorrow will bring. I would tell you, but that would just spoil all the fun. Until then, tune in next time. See you all tomorrow!