On today's menu we have "Chili & Chocolate," brought to us today by Catherine from High Wycombe, and "Cajun Squirrel," brought to us by Martyn from Hednesford. Now to say I was not scared about trying either of these flavors would be a bold-faced lie. I fear for the well being of my stomach, and taste-buds. Seriously, I don't know where to start here, so I guess I will start with the one that sounds the nastiest, "Chili & Chocolate." Here goes nothing.
With my initial inspection of "Chili & Chocolate" chips I noticed a chili pepper sunbathing on a towel/blanket of chocolate, a poorly drawn sunbathing chili pepper at that as well. I guess they figure a personified vegetable would trick you into trying this flavor out. It is as if the big doe eyes of this chili pepper are saying "I'm not going to hurt you, trust me, I'm delicious!" Well I am not falling for that trick, I am sure these will hurt me in a few hours. I can only take solace in the fact that this will be the only time I will try a chip flavor like this.Thank God! After opening the bag I took the obligatory sniff. Oddly enough I didn't smell chocolate, or chili. Instead, I smelled potatos. Something is rotten in the state of Denmark when your "Chili & Chocolate" chip
s smell like neither chocolate nor chili. What the eff? So after smelling these chips I decided to take the plunge and eat a few. There really was no initial taste. That is when I knew I was in trouble. My taste buds were surrounded again by after taste. I was scared. The first taste to hit was the chocolate. The chocolate just permeated my mouth and the back of my nasal passages. You know it is bad when you can taste and smell your food at the same time. Surprisingly there was little heat factor from the chili flavor. The chili flavoring hits you shortly after the chocolate deals its one-two punch to your tongue and nose, diverting your attention away from the nuclear blast that is surely to come from the chili flavor. As I mentioned there was no heat associated with the chili flavor initially. After I had a few more chips the heat was proverbially turned up. Again my tongue and nasal passages were pummeled with fire and brimstone in the form of chocolate and chili.With all the above being said these chips aren't half bad. They weren't better than "Onion Bhaji" but they were definitely better than "Builder's Breakfast." For what it is worth they actually tasted good, well at least I didn't mind the taste. But then again that could be due to the fact that my taste buds may have been burned off and I can't discern the true flavor of the chips. Either way "Chili & Chocolate" was a pleasant surprise. Granted one must try more than one chip to get the whole spectrum of the flavor. I honestly thought trying "Chili & Chocolate" would be synonomous with Dante's descent into hell, but I was pleasantly surprised that this was not so. I wouldn't go so far as to say my experience was like Dante's journey to Paradise either. It may have been closer to purgatory. The chips weren't good, but they weren't bad either. They were just chips with an odd flavor combination that didn't do much for me. Overall I give "Chili & Chocolate" two and a half spuds out of five.
Next up we have "Cajun Squirrel" chips. This is obviously some sort of underhanded joke meant to poke fun at Americans. For some reason the Brits like to make fun of Americans. Maybe they are just jeal
ous, or they could still be a bit bitter over the Revolution, or 1812, or who knows what. All I know is that we (Americans) really don't make fun of the Brits too much. Maybe it's because we don't care enough to. Anyway, the name "Cajun Squirrel" probably is some joke referencing how Americans are all a bunch of cowboy rednecks, and wife beaters. The back of the bag reads: " Martyn's taste for the exotic led him to come up with this mild cajun flavor. Thankfully, no squirrels were harmed in the making of this crisp (chip)!" Well that's a relief! I really thought they ground squirrels up into a powder and sprinkled them on my chips. Well ok, I didn't really but I guess there might be someone out there who did/does think that. Upon opening the bag and again sniffing the chips I was afraid. Very afraid. The bag smelled like stale gravy (is that even possible) and roast. I've never really had the urge to make meat products into chips but the British sure do. "Cajun Squirrel" is just one in a long line of meat themed, British potato chip snacks. I've tried a few before "Cajun Squirrel" like "Turkey and Stuffing," "Roast Chicken," "Beef Teriaki," and "Prawn Coctail." All winning chip flavors huh? I wasn't too impressed with other meat flavored chips I have tried while traveling in England, and my expectations are not too high for "Cajun Squirrel."Upon eating a handful of "Cajun Squirrel" I did not taste stale gravy or roast. Instead they tasted more like stale American barbeque chips. The taste wasn't overwhelming at all. When I hear cajun I think spicy, and frankly "Chili & Chocolate" were spicier than these "cajun" chips. They did have a smokey flavor though. I could also taste hints of pepper, and paprika. The meat flavor was disappointing. For a meat flavored chip, the spices sure overpower the meat taste. In fact the meat taste is more of an after thought. The "squirrel" part of this chip tastes more like that nasty meat product that they give you in your school lunches in elementary and high school, or at the cafeteria in college. The meat tastes like it has been on the steam table for way too long and is now the consistency of the rubber on the bottom of your shoe. If they stayed away from the meat aspect of this chip, the chips would be more enjoyable. The sheer fact that the meat taste just hangs around your mouth as an after thought to the whole taste experience really put me off. Maybe I don't get it because I am an American, but I still can't wrap my mind around the concept of making my potato chips taste like meat. Maybe it is a cultural thing, I don't know, but what I do know is that my expectations were low, and they were met. So I can't really fault the chip producer for that. I will give them this though, "Cajun Squirrel" was better than "Chili & Chocolate." And for that I give "Cajun Squirrel" three spuds out of five. And that is saying something for a meat product chip.
Well that about does it for this installment of "For Science." Hopefully I will survive the night. Tomorrow will bring the third and final segement of "For Science." But if you will excuse me now. There is a w00t-off going on. Tune in next time.
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